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Because she had a thing for him. There was just something about him that called to her, something that made her wish there was hope for the two of them somehow. Hope for what? She wasn’t quite sure. And deep in her heart, she feared she would never get over him… Even after she was safe and he left.
And yet, she had honestly meant what she said to him, that she knew that nothing could ever happen between them.
Nothing was ever going to come out of their time together. She accepted that. She had no expectations concerning him. So she was going to go home and cry out her eyes. She wasn’t going to throw away her pride and dignity and do something crazy like beg him to stay or get into a relationship with her.
So, yes. It had been rather a bad idea to have sex with him. A bad idea that had turned out absolutely perfect. Something beautiful and real and honest in the middle of a terrible mess. She probably should regret it. But she didn’t.
Instead, she felt, at last, that she and Asher had reached a certain peace with each other. Some kind of understanding. That something good really had come of that horrible day and night. She knew it sounded really stupid too. But she couldn’t help the way she felt.
She knew that if he insisted on leaving, she could let him go without resenting him, without the any bitterness in her heart. So yes. For her, All in all, miraculously, it had been a good thing.
Well, except for the condom breaking. That was a bit worrisome. She thought. But the time of the month was wrong… right? And they had only made love once. That she might become pregnant was very unlikely.
Very.
In fact, she was certain that she wasn’t pregnant. There was no need to worry about that score. She’d behaved badly, but she did have a lovely, wicked memory to cherish. Every once in a while even the most well behaved ladies had to get out and misbehave a bit. She had done just that and survived. And now, life would go on.
Kimberly felt downright philosophical about the whole experience. Or at least, she did for now. She still had to wait for at least two weeks before taking a pregnancy test.
———————-
“Are you alright?” Asher asked when they returned to her apartment.
Kimberly ignored his question and headed straight for her room. Determined to hold on to any tiny bit of respect and dignity she had left. She didn’t go far, he took two steps and blocked her path.
“Kimberly,” he said. “Are you alright?” he asked again
“I’m fine Asher.” she replied quickly. “Is there any reason why I shouldn’t be?” she asked.
He stared at her and shook his head. “I just wanted to be sure”
“I’m fine,” she repeated.Content held by NôvelDrama.Org.
Asher looked at her. He heard what she was saying. She said she was fine. But she didn’t look fine. She looked shaken up. He didn’t know if it was from the cold or because of what happened between them. Things had happened so fast. Hell, even he was pretty shaken up too.
“I’m sorry” he said finally. “I really am. I shouldn’t have done…. I shouldn’t have let things go so far. I should have stopped myself. That’s why I think it might be better if I just leave and let someone else take care of this… Of you. Things might get complicated and that isn’t good for the job. I should never have…. ”
“Oh, will you please stop it “Kimberly yelled. If she had to listen to him list all the reasons why he regretted having sex with her one more time, she knew she was going to cry… Or punch him.
“I said I’m fine” she repeated, trying and failing to stop her voice from shaking. “I’m a big girl, Asher Adams and I can definitely handle a fling. Whatever happened between us was a mistake. I get that. But there is no reason why we can’t get past it. Besides what are you going to tell my dad? What reason are you going to give him for changing your mind so suddenly about being my bodyguard? ”
She sighed and shook her head.” You know, for someone who is so worried about anyone finding out about what happened between us you act so fucking weird that everyone is going to start to suspect stuff. I shouldn’t be telling you this. You should know… Aren’t you the big tough investigator bodyguard? ”
Asher said nothing, but he knew she was right.
“Get it out of your head that I can’t handle this,” Kimberly continued. “Because you and whatever happened between us was something that just happened in the moment. So please get over yourself”
She didn’t wait for his reply, but she marched down to her room, shut her door, ran into her bathroom and cried her eyes and stupid little heart out.
————————
Things were back to quiet and awkward between them once again. And Kimberly hated every second of it. She had to do something about it.
One week later, he had returned to being just her bodyguard who talked little and followed her everywhere. She had to put an end to it. She remembered Phoebe’s advice.
She was going to talk to him. They were going to get to know each other, at least to an extent… They already knew each other intimately.. Nothing and no amount of denial was going to change that. But who the hell said they couldn’t get past it. Who said you couldn’t be friends with your bodyguard? And she was going to start by taking Phoebe’s advice.
Play nice.
——————————-
Asher was looking through one of his cases when there was suddenly a knock on his door. That was weird. Kimberly had never done that since he came to stay at her apartment. And after that night in his SUV she seemed to avoid him even more. They hadn’t even talked about that night… Actually, they didn’t even talk about anything.
The quick knock on his door pulled him from his thoughts. And even if he already knew it was her, he was still surprised to see Kimberly standing on the other side. Her expression soft, but only slightly.