My Ex-wife, My Destination

Luke’s P. O. V.

Flashback

Five Years Ago

The door to my room bursts open, and I see Daisy entering. She locks the door and hastily removes her clothes, shocking me.

What is she doing? I didn’t ask her to get undressed.

As she approaches me, naked, I say in a stern tone, “I didn’t ask you to do that, Daisy.”

“So what?” She questions back, tears trickling down her cheeks. “Why should I need clothes when I’m alone with you? Because you want me like this only.”

“But my mood is good, so put your clothes back.” I feel a twinge of guilt and pain deep down at the sight of her tear-stained face. But I can’t show her that her tears are affecting me, so I add, “Yes, I like you naked, but only when I ask you.”

“Luke, I’m your wife, not your slave.” She bites her lower lip to suppress her sob. “It hurts me the way you treat me.”

“Do you think I care about what hurts you?” I roll my eyes, although deep inside, her condition hurts me. I stare into her eyes and continue, “You know the truth. You’re my fuck toy, not my wife.”

“Then fuck me now.” She murmurs, walking closer to me.

Is she out of her mind?

“I said I’m not in the mood to fuck you. Can’t you get it?” I growl, causing her to flinch. “Stop your melodrama!”

“I won’t. It’s enough.” She responds defiantly.

“You’re making me angry!” I slam my laptop shut in frustration.

“Then fuck me. That’s what you always do,” she challenges, her voice tinged with bitterness. “Vent out your anger on me like I’m your punching bag.”

I climb down from the bed and march towards her. “Just shut up.” I dangerously come closer to her, my hand gripping her hair firmly, pulling her head back. As her breath hits my face, I realise she’s intoxicated.

Realising she’s in no condition for a rational conversation, I pull her away from me and soften my tone slightly. “You’re drunk, Daisy. Take a bath and get some rest.”

“From now on, I’ll do the opposite of whatever you say, Luke. I won’t obey your commands,” she slurs in a defiant tone.

“What the fuck. Have you forgotten about the consequences of defying me?” My tone sharpens.

“Then do whatever you want. I won’t follow your orders because I’m accustomed to enduring your punishments throughout our six months of marriage. I’m not frightened, I’m just hurt.” A sob escapes her mouth, piercing my heart. She composes herself before stating, “Today, listen to one truth, Luke Anderson. Your punishments don’t hurt me a bit. Your hatred towards me shatters me every day.”

I just stare at her mutely, shocked, seeing her for the first time expressing her pain. Her eyes, filled with pain, are locked with mine.

After a few seconds of silence, she enquires, “Why do you hate me so much, Luke? Why?” she cries in pain, hitting my chest. “And whatever the reason, haven’t you punished me enough? I’m breaking down, Luke, I can’t handle your hatred anymore. I’m yearning for the Luke I fell in love with, but now it seems impossible to have him back. You’re not my Luke. You’re a monster who snatched my Luke from me. And you’re a heartless man.”

I am stunned, my heart pounding in my chest at her confession.

What is she talking about? She loves me?

She can’t love me!

How can she love me when I torture her daily and make her life hell?

It’s impossible!

No! No, she is not in her senses. That’s why she’s saying anything.

She continues while shedding tears. “Yet I can’t leave you. You keep shattering my soul, but I can’t hate you. Why can’t I hate you, Luke? I want to hate you so desperately.” She hiccups. “Sofia always asks me to divorce you, but I can’t because your presence is enough for me to live my life. That’s how much I love you, Luke. Therefore, I’ve been bearing your anger, your humiliation, and your torture for six months of our marriage, hoping that one day you’ll see in my eyes how much I love you.”

She is crying miserably, and I’m speechless, listening to her confession.

I had no idea that she loved me this much.

And fuck! Why does my heart feel like someone is stabbing it with a knife? Why am I feeling so much pain in my chest?

She is about to fall to the floor, but I catch her, and she looks at me with half-open eyes, smiling and gently caressing my stubble.

“You care about me, right? I can feel that, but you hide it.” She exposes me with her words. I do care about her, but I ignore it every time because of my reasons for punishing her.

“Why do you despise me, Luke? What have I done?” She enquires, her eyes closing because of her intoxicated state. “I can’t bear it anymore, Luke. Please tell me. I’ll rectify everything if I’ve made any mistakes. I just can’t live like this anymore. Please tell me my mistake.”

Her words pierce through the walls I’ve built around myself. I’ve treated her with disdain, convinced myself she deserves it. But her love, her vulnerability, it’s like a hit on those walls, threatening to crumble everything I’ve constructed.

She looks at me, her eyes searching for answers, and I finally decide to tell her the reason for my hatred towards her.

“Because you snatched-” Before I can tell her, she faints in my arms.

I lift her and carry her to the bed. After lying her down there, I cover her with the comforter.

Right now, I don’t know why, but I want to kill the person who hurt her, and that person is me. I want to destroy myself.

Something breaks inside me after seeing her burst out.

And I don’t know why, for the first time, I lie her down on my bed. For the first time, I feel she doesn’t deserve my hatred.

As my eyes fall on the blisters on her palms, I feel a pang of guilt, recalling how I burned her diary and how she tried to stop it from burning. Automatically, tears roll down my cheeks, and I feel like killing myself for treating her with cruelty.

I immediately retrieve the ointment from the drawer and gently apply it to her palms.

All the moments of our seven months of marriage flash in front of my eyes: every day, the way I tortured her, the way I humiliated her, and the way I treated her like she was nothing.

She is bearing this because she loves me. Why did I never think about it? I was so lost in my hatred towards women and towards her, I couldn’t think rationally. I just wanted to make her suffer for snatching my friend. Perhaps she was never at fault. Just because Olivia cheated on me, I assumed she cheated on Max.

Fuck!

Flashback

Max cries on the phone, “Daisy doesn’t love me, Luke. You were right, every woman is the same. I’m shattered-”

Before he can complete his sentence, I interrupt him, my anger boiling over. “I told you, Max. I told you they’re all the same. Daisy will betray you in the end. Just like Olivia did to me…”

But before I can finish my sentence, a loud screech echoes through the phone, followed by the sound of metal crunching against metal.

“Max? Max, are you there?” I call out frantically, my heart pounding in my chest. But there’s no response, only silence. And then the line goes dead.

Flashback Over

That night when Max met with the accident, he never told me that Daisy betrayed him, but I assumed wrong because of my bitterness and pain. I projected my insecurities onto Daisy, convinced that she was just like Olivia, just like every other woman who had hurt me.

But now, as I look down at Daisy’s sleeping form, knowing she loves me, I realise how wrong I’ve been.

Daisy didn’t deserve my hatred. She didn’t deserve to be punished for crimes she never committed.

As I sit beside her, watching her chest rise and fall with each steady breath, I feel a wave of remorse. Deep regret for all the times I’ve hurt her, all the times I’ve treated her with cruelty when all she ever did was love me.

I brush a strand of hair away from her face, my heart heavy with guilt. “Daisy, I’m sorry,” I whisper, my voice choked with emotion. “I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through. I’m sorry for not seeing the truth sooner. Now I promise I’ll make everything right.”

Flashback Over

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Fuck! I was such an idiot. After realising that Daisy wasn’t at fault for my friend’s death, I pushed her away instead of apologising. I broke her heart even more brutally so that she would sign the divorce papers the next morning and leave me because, at that moment, I wanted to punish myself. I didn’t have the courage to stay with Daisy after realising how much I had hurt her without a reason.

However, now I won’t repeat my mistake. I’ll win Daisy’s heart and forgiveness somehow. No matter how much she pushes me away, I’ll find my way back to her heart because she’s my final destination.