Chapter 29
FF WINTER reedom is like a drug. I can almost taste it. It’s surrounding me like an energy that I can feed from. Intoxicating, dangerous and destruction of the most devastating kind.
It’s as if I’m having an out-of-body experience. The music, the lights, alcohol and laughter all merge into a delicious cocktail of delight, promising life changing consequences.
Here at the house next door, I am Winter Sontauro, ordinary girl, popular girl and foolish girl, all rolled into one and it never felt so good.
I’ve lost count of the drinks I’ve had when no one was looking. The number guys I’ve danced with and moved on to the next before they can take anything further. I’ve danced with Claudia, Emma and several girls whose names I never registered, and, like Cinderella, I am experiencing the night of my life. However, also like Cinderella, when the clock strikes twelve, it all turns to dust and as I turn to move away from the guy who thinks he stands a chance with me, he pulls me back with a drunken, “Where do you think you’re going?”
He pulls me close and goes in for a sloppy kiss and before I know what’s happening a hard body forces itself between us and I hear the deep chilling tones of my rescuer, “Fuck off before I kill you.”
I stare up in surprise at a wall of muscle and violence and see Ivan glaring at the terrified senior, who backs off immediately. “I’m sorry, man, I didn’t…” Ivan just pushes him away and grabs my arm, whispering, “Party’s over, princess.”
“No.”
I feel so angry I can hardly speak, and he whispers, “Don’t make a scene;
you know how this works.”
My situation comes back and hits me hard and the surrounding laughter of people living their best lives makes it an even more bitter pill to swallow when I realize this will never be my life.
With a sigh of resignation, I allow myself to be pulled from the room and as we step into the fresh air, I feel the tears stinging behind my eyes.
The moon beams down with a sympathetic smile and I raise my eyes to it and wish hard for a different life than the one I’ve been sentenced to.
Then I hear a soft, “I’m sorry, angel” I look at the savage beside me and he smiles, which shocks me more than anything. Ivan doesn’t wear humanity well, and I’m surprised to see the sadness in his eyes as he sighs and places his arm around my shaking shoulders.
“This life sucks for all of us, but you get the worst of it. I wish you had more freedom, Winter, but this is for your own good.”
“Is it though, Ivan, because from where I’m standing, I’m struggling to see any good in my life?”
He pulls me closer and says bitterly, “Good is for the ordinary people.
Guys who don’t know how lucky they are. Girls who think they have it all, but when the sun breaks on the rest of their lives, will discover they’re not so special after all. You’re special, Winter. More than you realize because you have something they will never have, strength, bravery and a sense of duty.”
I’m surprised to hear him actually speaking to me because he doesn’t normally say much. He just grunts and looks angry most of the time and I wonder about him.
“What about you, Ivan? Do you fear the future because I’m guessing yours is not much better than mine?”
He shrugs. “I know no different and I expect nothing more. You see, that’s where I’m luckier than the rest of us because I don’t dream. I just accept the nightmares and make them part of my soul.”
I feel sorry for him, and it must show on my face because he shakes his head. “Don’t pity me. I made peace with this life years ago. When I leave Rockwell Academy, I’m not taking fear with me and if I sound like a bastard, it’s because I am. What’s happening to you is not acceptable but not uncommon in our lives. You’ve always known what will happen, just not the players involved. Just own your future and whatever happens, make it on your terms. Don’t be a victim and be strong.”
“Like you.” He smiles and the moon lights up the gleam in eyes that hold the dark secrets of hell in them, and he says in a sharp voice, “I am strong because I won’t allow myself to be anything less. Talking of which…” He sighs. “I have to go, which is why your night ends now.”
“Where?”
I’m confused, and he says tightly, “Duty calls.”
“Ivan.” A familiar voice cuts through the darkness, making me shiver inside and as Alessandro steps into the light, Ivan sighs. “Sorry my friend, but I have to pass this over to you. Just make sure she gets home in one piece.”
His voice has a ring of steel attached and Alessandro growls, “Fuck you, Ivan.”
Harsh laughter surrounds me as he steps away and swaps places with a man who is possibly the most dangerous of them all-for my heart.
“Where’s he going?” I’m curious as Alessandro takes his place and he shrugs. “He got a call from the guy who runs the fights in town. There’s a heavy prize fund for whoever takes on an open ring and survives. This has his name written all over it and so he called me to take over watching you.”
“Watching me, what the…” Alessandro just shrugs. “Your brother’s orders. Sorry baby, you know what he’s like.”
I feel so angry I can almost taste it and it must show on my face because Alessandro sighs. “Life’s a bitch Winter, surely you know that by now and to be honest, I would do the same.”
“Why?” I feel an edge to my voice that disappoints me because I thought he was different from the rest of them and he says gruffly, “Because you’re better than those bitches in there. The thought of those jocks treating you like an ordinary girl, trying to take what they want with no regard for your feelings, makes me mad as hell.”
My heart softens a little and I blink back the tears. “Maybe I want to be like them, Alessandro, just to see what all the fuss is about.”
He turns and, in the moonlight, I see the danger in his eyes as he hisses, “I want better for you, Winter. I want you to have the world and I want to be the man to give it to you.”
My breath hitches when I see the rage flashing in his eyes and he has never looked more desirable than now.
He shakes himself and smiles ruefully. “Come, we need to get back.
You’ve had long enough and we’re still struggling to find the person messing with us.”
It’s only a short distance to the house and I wish it was in another State entirely because just having some time alone with the man who is never far from my thoughts is a pleasure I never saw coming. I’d rather be here with him, anyway, than at the party with someone else.
“Can we stop and talk?”
The words make it out before I can check them, and he stops in surprise.
‘That may not be the best idea you’ve ever had, baby.”
Just hearing his soft endearment makes the knife twist deeper and I shrug.
“Possibly, but talking can’t hurt, surely.”
I nod to the wall beside the house and say almost desperately, “Please, just five minutes. I don’t feel so good anyway and should sit down.”
I pretend something to get me what I want, and his look of concern makes me feel like a bitch as I sway a little and act as if I’ve had too much to drink.
However, desperate times call for desperate measures and I love how his hand finds mine, and he says with concern, “Of course, just breathe deeply.”
He sweetly removes his jacket and drops it to the ground and gently helps me down to sit on it and as he settles beside me, I long to put my head on his shoulder and feel his arm wrap around me. But he’s keeping his distance, probably because he values his friendship with my brother more than anything else.
“I wish I could think of a way out of this madness.” I sigh and he nods.
“I’ve thought of everything.”
“What did you come up with?”
“A kind of plan, but I’m not sure it will work.”
“I’m willing to try anything.”
He laughs bitterly. “You may not like this one.” Now I’m more than curious because his voice sounds gentler, more wistful even, and I whisper, “Tell me.”
He turns and his eyes are like two black pools, glittering with emotion and it makes my breath hitch and time stand still as he says in a husky whisper, “We arrange your marriage to me.”
“You.” A dart of hope pierces my heart, and he nods. “My grandfather wants me to join him in the family business.”
“In Sicily?”
He nods, the bitterness shrouding his eyes in madness. “He would do anything for me to agree on something I’ve refused and even my own father ran away from.”
“Why?”
I’m confused because Alessandro is as fucked as the rest of us, and I wonder what options he has.
“My father broke away because he hates the tradition that Sicily demands. The goldfish bowl my grandfather lives in and the madness that surrounds that. In America, he enjoys a different kind of terror. He plays by his own rules and makes them up as he goes along. Petty crime mainly, prostitution and gambling. My father loves to play a part in that and is the evillest bastard I know, but my grandfather is both evil and powerful with a danger that ruins like blood in his veins.”
“I envy you have a choice.”
He nods. “My father has made it clear I only have two options. He is wrong.”
I shift closer, feeling his warmth wrapping me in comfort as he says roughly, “I have three as it happens, possibly four, even five.”
“Which are?”
“Work with my father and lose my mind or return to Sicily and lose my freedom. Then there’s my preferred one of leaving all the shit behind and buying me some time.”
“How will you do that?”
“I made a deal with my grandfather behind my father’s back.”
I feel worried and whisper, “What deal?”
His low laugh of bitterness tells me it’s a deal made with the devil, and he growls, “I get to follow my dream on a promise to take up his position when he can no longer do it himself.”
“What is your dream?”
He sounds animated as he says, “I want to make movies. It’s always fascinated me and I’m working toward that with my studies.”
I wasn’t expecting that, and I feel glad he has something like that in his life.
“So, my grandfather agreed to help me make it happen and give me a few years of freedom, at least, supposing he lives that long.”
Reaching out, I grasp his hand and he looks at me in shock, which makes me smile sadly. “Follow your dream, Alessandro, for as long as you have it and enjoy every minute of it.”
He shakes his head. “That was before I met you.”
“What do you mean?” I’m confused, and he stares at me with an intensity that draws me in, and I can’t look away as he reaches up and touches my cheek, almost as if he’s afraid I’ll disappear and whispers, “I intend on making a new deal with my grandfather. Arrange marriage to you and I’ll return after graduation.”Copyright by Nôv/elDrama.Org.
His words are like a bolt of lightning striking my heart, and I pull back in horror. “No!”
He looks crushed as I say angrily, “I will not allow you to give up your dream for me. That’s not good.”
He pulls my face up to look at him and I see the emotion burning deep in his eyes as he says roughly, “I will do anything to save you, Winter and even if you hate the thought of marriage to me, I will keep you safe. I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to, and I’ll give you space to enjoy as normal a life as I can give you.”
“No, Alessandro, I can’t let you sacrifice your future for me. I would never forgive myself.” I break away. “Anyway, you said there was another option. Tell me.”
He shrugs. “You’ll have to ask your brother about that one. Maybe it’s the best one because if it works, we will all be free – to a degree, anyway.”
I make to speak, and he says firmly, “It’s not for me to say, but I will do anything to save you, Winter, because…” “Because what?” I lean a little closer and as we sit in the shadows, it’s as if we are on our own private planet where the impossible becomes reality and he whispers, his lips hovering against mine, “Because I feel down deep in my heart that you are mine.”
As the tears sparkle in my eyes, my heart breaks in two because I think I felt it as soon as I met him. The connection is strong, and the message is clear. Alessandro is the man my heart desires but can never have. Because in standing a chance with him, I do it by stepping over his dreams and grinding them to dust and I will never let him make that choice.