Through You: Chapter 14
CLAUDIA
My life is back to its old routine.
Yes, indeed. The monotonous day-to-day that I was more than accustomed to and did not mind at all until Artemis came back home and right into my life, turning it upside down only to make his way out again in the worst possible way. And now it seems this routine is not enough, and I feel unsatisfied.
At least I can blame him for ruining it all. I can’t help but feel a painful squeeze in my heart when I think of him. He hurt me. I’ve come to terms with this truth. I let him in, made myself vulnerable, and he hurt me. Maybe in his twisted mind, this was getting back at me for rejecting him that Fourth of July, and now we’re even. Still, this doesn’t seem fair to me. I never played with his feelings: I was straightforward and let him down on his first attempt. I didn’t lead him on or rub someone else in his face.
He now seems to be avoiding me, and I’m thankful even though I know it will be nearly impossible to keep up, since we both live in the same house.
So it’s only a bit of a surprise when I’m coming out of the laundry room just as Artemis enters the house through the main doors. His perfectly tailored suit molds against his nicely toned body well. The memory of my fingers tracing his chest and abdomen comes to mind, and I curse the vivid reminder. Our eyes meet, and I might have noticed a trace of sadness, but I’m too upset with him to care. Part of me wants to kick up a fuss but I’m not going to further degrade myself. I’m not giving him the opportunity to claim that he never said he was looking for something serious, or go about laying on the bullshit as I’ve witnessed Ares do on multiple occasions. I walk past him in silence, and go about picking up the plates and glasses Mrs. Hidalgo left in the living room after having friends over.
Artemis walks to the foot of the stairs and stops. He seems unsure whether to go up.
My hands are full and I take the first batch of items away.
When I come back from the kitchen I want to slap myself for feeling disappointed when I notice he’s gone.
Not even an apology, Artemis?
And what did you expect, Claudia?
Sunday is visitors’ day with a very special someone in my life. I get off the bus in front of a large seniors’ residence, and when I enter, the nurse on duty greets me with a smile and takes me to the garden. The facilities of this exclusive long-term care residence are impeccably clean, the staff is very well trained and friendly, the rooms are spacious, and the overall look is more luxury hotel than anything else. It is exactly what it ought to be: a nursing facility for seniors who have more money than they could hope to spend during the time they have left. In the garden that has become familiar to me over the past two years, I walk among the remaining beautiful flowers already at the end of their blooming cycle. Fall is on its way.
I can see him in the near distance, sitting on a bench next to a tall leafy tree facing the lake. Of their own accord, my lips curve into a smile as I near the spot where he’s sitting.
Anthony Hidalgo is a sturdy and very tall man with brown eyes of a shade that’s similar to that of his grandsons Ares and Artemis. The wrinkles on his face are a road map of the hard labor he invested earlier in life to get where he is now. Nevertheless, he is in great shape despite being almost eighty years old. He moved into this residence after his children came to an unanimous decision. Grandfather smiles back at me.
“I thought you weren’t coming.”
“And miss our wonderful Sunday date?” I snort. “Never.”
Apolo was pretty much raised by his grandfather, and I’m happy Apolo has benefitted from this influence. Mr. Anthony takes a glass filled with lemonade from the table next to him and offers it to me.
“Very sweet, just how you like it.”
My heart softens with affection. The way his face lights up when sees me every Sunday when I visit lets me know that he’s lonely in this place, which, luxurious as it may be, is not home.
Perhaps money isn’t everything.
I take a sip of the lemonade and sit on the bench next to him.
“Hmm, it’s delicious.”
“Do you want a snack? I can order your favorites.”
I pat him on the shoulder. “I’m good. How are you?”
“I’ve got this headache that comes and goes, but it’s nothing that I can’t handle.”
That worries me.
“Have you mentioned it to your doctor?”
He shakes his head. “It’ll be fine. How are the boys? Apolo doesn’t talk much about them.”
Apolo visits him on Saturdays, and I visit him on Sundays.
This way he has company two days in the week.
“They’re fine,” I respond, even though I’m sure this answer won’t be enough.
“Apolo told me that Artemis has been bothering you since he came home.”
Damn Apolo. He can’t keep his mouth shut.
“It’ll be fine.” I regurgitate his previous answer. “I, more than anyone, am capable of handling the situation.”
Grandfather lets out a sigh and looks at the beautiful lake in front of us, filled with dark-blue water shimmering with the sunlight.
“And what about Ares?”
Though most people will deny this, grandparents, or even parents, often have a favorite. And while Apolo was practically raised by his grandfather, Mr. Anthony has always had a soft spot for Ares. They both have strong characters, and are very similar.
Of course, this has complicated their relationship, turning it into a game of emotional tug-of-war from time to time.
“He’s fine. I think he’s finally ready to settle down,” I reply, thinking of Raquel.
Grandfather sighs again, and the sadness is evident in his voice. “Has he asked about me?”
I would love to lie and say yes. “You know what he’s like.”
Ares has only visited once the entire time his grandfather has been living at this nursing home. And when he left, he was on the verge of tears. He cannot stand seeing his grandfather here. The fact that he wasn’t able to prevent his grandfather’s admittance is something that eats away at him. Hence, he’d rather ignore the situation and act as if it’s not happening so he won’t have to deal with it. The boy with the bluest eyes is not capable of handling his emotions at all. On the outside he acts superior and seems imposing, yet inside he is uncertain and unsettled.
“I’d like to see him,” his grandfather adds. “He must be taller.
He hasn’t stop growing since he was twelve.”
I take out my cell phone, and click to open the photo gallery.
“See for yourself.”
I show him silly photos I’ve taken with Ares. There is Ares with his mouth stuffed with food flipping me off, his blue eyes catching the reflection of the flash. And Ares sleeping on the couch after watching a movie. There is one of him looking terrified as a bunch of Apolo’s rescue pups encircle him. And another of Ares in his soccer jersey standing next to his teammate Daniel.
Agh, Daniel. That photo was taken the night I made the grave error of sleeping with him.
I put the phone away and clear my throat. Grandfather takes my hand.
“Ares and Artemis may appear cold, but it’s a defensive mechanism, deep down they are kindhearted.”
Not Artemis. I almost give way to my anger, but I know what he’s telling me is true.
Artemis was good to me when we were growing up. I don’t think I could ever forget how kind he was to me even though I’m deeply hurt by him now. I just have to keep away from him for the time being, and that’s all.
Grandfather Hidalgo squeezes my hand.
“Please look after them. I feel at peace knowing that you’re there for them. They never had a positive female role model, a woman who has stood by them throughout their lives.”
It’s clear he’s talking about their mother, a woman who has been unfaithful to her husband many times, and hasn’t been caring or nurturing toward her children.
“They’re older now, and are going to be fine,” I reply, staring at the shimmer of water gradually intensifying.
“They may be older but they have been deprived of love, Claudia. Their parents didn’t show them affection when they were growing up, they gave them nothing. By the time I realized it was happening, it was too late. I was only able to give my love to Apolo.”
I turn to face him. “And why are you telling me?”Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!
His eyes meet mine and his gaze softens.
“Because I want you to keep this in mind if you ever reach the point when you feel like throwing in the towel and decide to shut them out. Apolo told me that Artemis has been pestering you. Please don’t give up on them, and try to remember how much they care for you, all right?”
I give his cheeks a soft pinch and speak to him playfully.
“Look at you, so adorable, worried about your ungrateful boys who never pay you a visit.”
“They’ll come one day.” The certainty in his tone makes me roll my eyes in a dramatic way. He lightly taps my forehead.
“Insolent girl making fun of an old man.”
“An old man?” I get up, looking to both sides. “Where?”
He bursts out laughing, and I look at him affectionately. I am grateful for Grandfather’s presence in my life; he is amazing.
We spend the rest of the day talking. As always, he asks me about school, if I need anything. And as usual my answer is no—by paying my tuition and university expenses he has already done enough. I don’t ever want him to think I’m taking advantage of his love by asking for more money.
With a smile on my face, I say my good-byes and head home.
It’s four o’clock in the morning when I’m woken up by the ringing of the house’s landline. I have a tendency to bring the cord-less phone to my room so I don’t have to walk to the kitchen and answer every time a call comes in. I stretch my hand from the bed to answer, hoping it’s not a crank call.
“Hello?” My voice is hoarse and weak.
“Good evening.” The formality in the tone of the woman on the other end puts me on alert. “I’m calling from the general hospital.” I sit up immediately, imagining all sorts of scenarios. “We need to inform you that Mr. Anthony Hidalgo was admitted to emergency a little while ago.” I stop breathing. “This is the number we have as his primary contact.”
“What happened?” I’m unsure what to ask.
“He suffered a stroke. The doctors are currently working to stabilize him. I’ll be able to provide you with more information when you get here.”
“We’re on our way.”
She gives me a few more details before ending the call.
I dress in a hurry and don’t even pay attention to the clothes I put on. My heart has formed a lump in my throat, and I can feel it beating hard.
“He’s fine. He has to be fine.”
I’ve got this headache that comes and goes, but it’s not anything I can’t handle.
Stubborn old man! If he wasn’t feeling well why didn’t he say something? A sense of dread courses though me and I dart out of my room.
My mother hasn’t stirred one bit. She’s a deep sleeper—not even a hurricane could interrupt her slumber. Meanwhile, I find Mr. Juan in his pajamas, with his cell phone to his ear when I reach the living room. It’s clear that the nursing home reached out to him while the hospital was calling the landline. He can see the dread and desperation in my eyes.
“Should we go to hospital?” I ask.
My eyes move in the direction of the stairs and he reads my mind. “I don’t want to wake them up right now,” he says. “It’s best to wait until morning, and then—”
But I’m already running past him and up the stairs.
“Claudia!” I hear him shout behind me. “Claudia!”
I knock on each of the boys’ doors hard enough for them to hear, and come to a halt outside Apolo’s room. Ares peeks out, his hair a spiky mess pointing in all directions. He has one eye closed and is struggling to keep the other open. “What’s wrong?”
A shirtless Artemis also sticks his head into the hallway.
“What the fuck is going on?”
I try to slow my breathing and make an attempt to sound calm, so I choose my words carefully. “Your grandfather . . .”
Apolo opens his door and stands in front of me. “What’s happening, Claudia?”
“Your grandfather is in the hospital.”
Understanding and fear is evident in the expressions worn by each of the Hidalgo boys when words fail to come out of my mouth.
They all scramble to put on the first scraps of clothing they can find while asking me a lot of questions. And then they follow me downstairs. Mr. Juan is waiting at the bottom of the stairs and gives me a disapproving look, but I don’t care. Our ride to the hospital is quiet, yet the air is heavy with suffocating worry. Mr. Juan is driving and Artemis is in the passenger seat. I’m in the back, between the other two boys. Apolo cries silently, big tears rolling down his cheeks.
My heart is shrinking. I don’t want to entertain the possibility of his grandfather not making it through. He is strong and will be fine, I repeat to myself over and over.
I take Apolo’s hand and give it a squeeze. He rests his head on my shoulder and his tears dampen my shirt.
Ares is resting his elbow on the car window, his closed fist held against his mouth. His knuckles have turned white. The tension through his shoulders is obvious. He’s mad. No, correction: furious. I assume he deeply regrets not visiting his grandfather.
Perhaps we all thought Anthony was eternal because he always looked strong. I link Ares’s other hand with my free hand and place them on my lap. When Ares turn his gaze to me, I see pain in his eyes.
“He’s going to be okay.” Ares goes back to staring out the window but doesn’t let go of my hand, squeezing tightly.
Artemis turns around slightly and glances at me. He’s trying to conceal his worry but his deep concern is written all over his face. I smile at him and whisper, “Your grandfather is going to be okay.”
He nods and straightens in his seat.
They may be older but they have been deprived of love, Claudia.
Their parents failed to show them affection when they were growing up; they gave them nothing. The words of their grandfather echo in my mind as I enter the hospital with the Hidalgos. One single thought takes up residence in my head: You’ve got to get well, you stubborn old man. Don’t you dare die on us. If you do, I will make sure to bring you back and kill you myself.
My mind flashes to the way the wrinkles on his face appear more evident when he smiles.
He is the closest thing I have to a father figure, something I never had in my life.
I love you so much, you stubborn old man. Please get well.