Tore Up (Mississippi Smoke Series Book 1)

Peppermint tea was delicious, and Bane had been wrong about the scones. The blueberry one was my favorite. Especially with the creamy butter stuff on them. I was finally starting to relax some.

Grissele Cash would be as intimidating as her older son if she wasn’t so nice. Not only was she the image of elegance, but she held herself so regally that I felt frumpy in her presence. Her obvious joy about my pregnancy was the first response to my unborn child that was positive.

“Tell me about your parents,” she said in a gentle tone, as if she already knew something.

I was sure Bane had clued them in already. She had asked me how I’d met Crosby and listened avidly while I replayed the story that I had told Than this morning.

“Um, my parents … well …” I didn’t want to disappoint this woman. The idea that my baby would have a grandparent who loved it so much made my heart swell. “My mom died when I was three months old. My dad remarried shortly after, needing help with an infant, and my stepmother raised me.” That, hopefully, was enough.

Her expression seemed pained. “And your stepmother moved out, Bane said, and then your father left too?”

I nodded, twisting the linen napkin in my lap. Was she going to also make the assumption I’d done something terribly wrong to make my family desert me? If I had another reason, I would explain it, but I didn’t. They simply did not care, and I had done all I could to make them care my entire life.

I decided I had one truth that wasn’t anything I wanted to share with someone, but perhaps it would ease her mind, discovering that the mother of her son’s child wasn’t full of awful, hidden traits.

“My mom had postpartum. It was bad, and she, uh … well, she ended her life.” I looked down at my tea and reached for the handle, although I wasn’t going to take a drink, unable to make eye contact as I said this aloud for the first time since hearing it myself. “My dad blames me. I look like her, and he hates me for it. Seeing me is painful for him.”

“Oh my God,” she breathed, and then her hand reached across the table and covered mine. “That’s a horrible thing to put on a child. Postpartum isn’t anyone’s fault. But if it were, then it would have been your father’s for not seeing it and getting her the help she needed.”

My eyes were stinging. “You think?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

She squeezed my hand. “I know. It is a hormonal imbalance that can be treated. You were an innocent baby.”

I lifted my eyes to meet hers. “Thank you.”

Her sympathetic gaze looked as if she might cry too. “Someone should have told you that before now. You shouldn’t have carried that on your shoulders.”

I had already told this woman more baggage than I’d told anyone. I might as well get it all out there. “I didn’t know why he hated me until before he left last week. He was walking out the door, and I blurted it out. Asked him what I had done to him. Why he’d always hated me. Before that, I’d just stayed out of his way. When I was little, I’d tried to get his attention, but he’d made it clear he wanted nothing to do with me. I eventually stopped.”

Grissele closed her eyes briefly, then opened them. “Will you promise me something?” she asked.NôvelDrama.Org owns © this.

I wasn’t sure I was ready to promise anyone anything. But I also didn’t have it in me to tell her no. She’d given me more attention and interest than my father and stepmother ever had in less than an hour.

“Okay,” I agreed, hoping it wasn’t something I couldn’t do.

“When—not if—Bane becomes too much for you, don’t leave. Come here. I have plenty of room. You can even have your own floor. When the baby comes, I would love for you both to live here.”

Live here? In a mansion, where they had tea and scones? It was a lovely offer, but I couldn’t see myself fitting into this family.

“Please,” she said, looking so eager for me to agree that it made it impossible for me not to.

“That’s very generous of you,” I said.

She shook her head. “It’s not me being generous. It’s me being selfish. I want to keep you and Crosby’s baby close. Make sure you have everything you need. The very best. Crosby would have wanted that. He would have.”

She was about to cry again.

Crappity crap. Okay, fine. What was so bad about this?

Bane would want to get rid of me soon, even if I couldn’t find somewhere else to go. I might as well come where I was wanted.

“Okay,” I agreed. “Thank you.”

As I’d suspected, her eyes filled with tears again as she beamed at me, then patted my hand. “That’s settled then. Now, let’s talk about some happy things. Who is your OB-GYN? You have been to see one, right?”

I paused, then shook my head. “I don’t have insurance. I was going to get Medicaid, then find a doctor who accepts it.”

Her expression was clearly horrified. She’d been struck speechless, it seemed. Then, she stood up from her chair and walked over to the buffet table. I watched as she picked up a cell phone, then pressed a number as she made her way back to the table.

“Hello, Margo. It’s Grissele Cash.” She paused, then gave me a reassuring smile. “Yes. I need a prenatal appointment for a new patient with Connie, please. Immediately.” She lifted her eyes to me. “Fourteen weeks along?” she asked.

I nodded. “That’s what Dr. Hurl said.”

How was she calling a doctor’s office on a Sunday?

“Fourteen weeks. Tomorrow at ten is perfect. She’s family. Halo Talley. Thank you.” She ended the call and smiled at me. “Connie Stella is the best. She’s delivered so many babies in this family. She delivered Crosby. She had only been in practice two years. Her dad had delivered Bane. You’ll love her.”

She’d just heard me tell her that I didn’t have insurance. This doctor didn’t sound like someone who was going to take Medicaid. They were limited and not normally a place that this woman would think was good enough. But then what did I know? I was assuming.

“I don’t have Medicaid yet,” I said, not sure how else to say it without sounding ungrateful.

She gave me a pointed look. “Halo, this baby is my grandchild. We will handle all medical costs. I want you and the baby to have the best care available. Connie is that.”

I had never known families like this. Sure, I’d watched similar ones from afar, but not to this extent. Where money was never an issue. Where I’d gone to school, the wealthiest kids were middle class. Anyone higher than that went to private schools.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. But I should be the one thanking you.”

A doctor’s appointment, lunch, and now five shopping bags later, I followed Grissele’s driver, who was carrying all my bags of things. I’d tried to tell her I didn’t need help to get up to the door of Bane’s house.

The images from the ultrasound were tucked away safely in my new purse, which I wished I’d never seen the price tag on. I was going to be scared to carry the thing around in public.

When Grissele had noticed my anxiety over costs, she’d stopped letting me see the price of things. Like the skirt and blouse I was currently wearing with my new bra—because Bane was right; my bra had gotten too small. Dr. Stella had informed me it was from pregnancy and completely normal.

The driver, Ledbetter, rang the doorbell.

“Thanks for carrying all that for me,” I told him.

He gave me a nod. “Of course, ma’am.”

I wasn’t a ma’am, but I let it go. He was real formal about things. He was also very large. As in tall, muscular, and broad. He reminded me of a bouncer at a club instead of a driver for a rich lady.

The door swung open. Than looked from Ledbetter with my bags to me, and then his eyes widened in surprise before a smile spread across his face.

“Grissele got ahold of you, I see,” he said, then reached for the bags. “Thanks, Led,” he said to the driver. “Come on in, Hollywood.”

I grimaced. “Is it that bad?”

Than closed the door and gave me a once-over. “You look good.”

I felt like a little girl, playing dress-up.

Voices and music filtered from somewhere in the house. I looked toward where the sound was coming from.

“I’ll introduce you to everyone, then take these upstairs for you,” Than said.

Everyone? Who was everyone?

“Maybe I should go upstairs,” I suggested.

He frowned. “No. It’s time you met the rest of the guys.”

Bane stepped out into the hallway, blocking our path up ahead. He didn’t even notice the bags. His gaze went past Than to me. “Halo,” he said. “Come with me.”

Than let out a sigh. “Now?” he asked.

Bane lifted his brows slightly. “Unless you want to take that up with Linc?”

Than glanced back at me. “I’ll put these in your room.” He didn’t say more before heading toward the stairs.

I was left with following Bane. Than hadn’t wanted to argue with Linc either. Was anyone ever going to explain that to me?

I walked into what appeared to be an office, and Linc was sitting on the edge of the desk with his legs crossed at the ankle and a glass of amber liquid in his right hand.

“How was shopping with Grissele?” Linc asked with a smirk, then took a drink.

It was strange how they all seemed to know my schedule. As if I was being tracked at all times.

“Okay,” I replied. “She enjoys it.”

Linc chuckled. “It seems you’re good for her. We are all relieved she’s out shopping again.” Then, he waved at one of the leather chairs in front of him. “Have a seat, Halo.”

What was wrong now? I glanced over at Bane, but his normal hard-ass expression didn’t help at all. Was this about Ares? What if they’d gone to the police after all? He could be in prison. I wanted him to be. He belonged there. He was a murderer.

I sat down.

“Did everything go smoothly at the doctor’s appointment?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Did you tell Dr. Stella you were having nightmares?”

I swung my gaze to Bane.

He rubbed his chin and shrugged. “I can’t keep sleeping half the night against the wall.”

I’d woken him up again while screaming last night, but he’d not mentioned it this morning. He’d barely acknowledged me at all.

“I did,” I told Linc, looking back at him. “I have a prescription for it. Grissele took me to get all my medications filled.”

Linc appeared pleased to hear that. Not as pleased as I was that Bane wouldn’t be bursting in my room and shaking me awake, then sleeping against the wall.

“How far along are you?” he asked.

“Fourteen weeks,” I told him, “and two days. I had an ultrasound done.”

Linc took another drink. “Very good.” He glanced over at Bane, then back to me. “Grissele has made it very clear she wants both you and the baby in the family. Everyone now knows about you and Crosby. I won’t lie; there are a couple who will be difficult for a while, but we intend to keep you distanced from them.”

Was he talking about Saylor? And why was he saying it like she was part of the family?

“Since this decision has been made, you need to know everything about us. Who Crosby was. Who we are. You are being brought in because you’re the mother of his only child. The fact remains that Ares killed Crosby. We do not blame you for his crime, but he is not absolved because of his relation to you. He will pay for Crosby’s life with his own.”

I said nothing. I didn’t know how they thought they were going to take a soldier from the United States Army and kill him, then get away with it. The way he’d spoken made it sound like they were capable of doing whatever they wanted. As if they had some pull or control. The police had never shown up about Ronnie’s and Nicco’s deaths. They had no fear of that either. Not a bit of concern. It hadn’t even been brought up. It was like they were … the mob.

I turned my head slowly and looked at Bane. The man who had held a knife to my throat in my bedroom. The man I’d watched kill two men with a shot to their heads, as if it was something he did often. I could feel my pulse in my neck as my heart rate picked up. My breathing felt shallow. Bane’s eyes locked with mine, and the cold, distant way he looked out of them made me shiver.

Turning back to Linc, I stared at him. The tattoos on three of his fingers. What did they say?

“Do you agree that your brother killing Crosby because you were pregnant was a sane choice? Was it a fair response? Had Crosby raped you?”

I swallowed hard. “No,” I replied. “It was consensual.” I could hear my heartbeat pounding in my ears.

“Then, Crosby lost his life because he had fallen for you and had sex with you and you got pregnant. Were you on birth control?” Linc asked.

“No but Crosby knew that. He’d asked me.”

“Did Crosby not use a condom while knowing this?” Linc asked.

“When I told him my period was late, he said that a condom broke one of the times, but he hadn’t told me or wanted me to worry. Then, he gave me the money to go get a test.”

“Why would Ares kill Crosby when he found out you were pregnant? Do you know the answer to that?”

I felt sweaty and sick all over as I shook my head. It was horrific. I hated thinking about it. “He always had a temper, but it had been getting worse. If I’d had any idea he was reading my texts and listening to my calls, I would have said something. But even then, I never would have imagined he would even consider doing that. I just—” I let out a choked sob. “God, I am so sorry.”

“We aren’t blaming you, Halo.” Linc’s voice was soothing, but right now, there was nothing that could ease this. “I am trying to get you to see that our killing him is what he deserves. It’s vengeance. We don’t stand by and allow our family to be attacked without striking back. It’s part of our power. One of the reasons we are feared and respected.”

I stared up at him, my breathing heavy. “What is your family?” I asked, although I had a feeling that I had figured it out. Pieces were clicking into place. Things that hadn’t made sense suddenly did.

“The Southern Mafia. Our families go back for generations. The branches of the family are all inside the Southern states. There is one boss, but each branch has a head. I’m the head of the Mississippi branch,” Linc explained.

There was a Mafia in the South. Holy shit.

“I see,” I replied, although I was sure there was a lot I did not see.

“You need to understand that Crosby and Saylor began dating at a young age. They grew up together. Saylor’s father, Gannon Rice, was the head of this branch. But his Parkinson’s disease progressed until he could no longer hold that position. Gannon had no sons.

“I was sent to take over until”—he briefly flicked his gaze to Bane, then back to me—“the eldest son of the next-oldest family in the Mississippi branch is named the head.

“Gannon’s oldest daughter married a man in the Louisiana branch, and Saylor was always thought to wed Crosby one day. Losing Crosby was a devastation to us all. Your pregnancy, while it has given Grissele the will to get out of bed in the mornings, has placed a dark cloud over the Rice family. Saylor’s memory of Crosby and what they had has been twisted. She’s angry and hurt. She’s also dramatic and very spoiled. Bane will make sure to keep you safely away from her so that you don’t have to face that kind of reception.

“Grissele has made sure to get you the best medical care money can buy, and you will want for nothing. The family is now your family. The family who deserted you will no longer be connected to you in any way.”

Wait. I tensed, gripping the armrest on the chair. “What do you mean?”

Linc stood up. “Exactly what it sounds like, Halo. Ares will be killed. The others you will not have contact with.”

They couldn’t get to Ares, but I wasn’t going to say that. He deserved to be in prison, and they could go to the police and make it happen although that wasn’t what they were threatening to do. Why couldn’t I see my other siblings?

“But my sister and little brothers,” I said.

“They left you without a word. I don’t see how this is an issue,” Linc replied.

“Yes, but it was my stepmother who took them.”

“Do you even know where they are? How to find them? Do they know how to find you?”

I sat there, wanting to burst into tears, but refusing to do it. He had a point. I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure they’d look for me or not. But I had hoped I could find them one day, when I had the money to look.

“Halo, Carina told your stepmother about your pregnancy. She’d read your texts. She helped your stepmother pack up the house and leave while you were at work. She wanted to leave you behind.”

“You don’t know that!” I shot back at him, angry that he was making up stuff that wasn’t true.

“Yes, I do,” he said, then reached over and pressed a button on an iPad.

“Hey.” The familiar sound of my sister’s voice filled the room.

“Y’all get packed up and out of there?” Ares asked.

“Yeah. On the road now. And I left the money alone that she keeps hidden in the closet. So, don’t worry.”

I sank back in the chair, listening to voices I knew, but couldn’t understand how they were talking. Ares was at boot camp. How had he called Carina?

“I left the key to the house under the mat out front. I won’t be there when y’all arrive. Got held up.”

“Who the hell is gonna carry the heavy stuff? Nicco won’t be in Mobile to help. He said so after he finished loading us up.”

“I’ll get what you can’t in the morning. Chill.”

“What do you want to eat?” Iris’s voice called out.

“A number two, no tomato,” Carina replied.

“Did you leave her the letter?” Ares asked.

“Mmhmm,” Carina said.

“On the counter, like I said to?”

“Yep. Your favorite sister will see her letter.”

“You’re daddy’s angel. Don’t be a bitch.”

“Yes, I am. Besides, she’s not your sister. Thank God. If she were, your gross obsession with her would be incestuous.”

“Carina, shut up!” Iris barked at her.

“God, you’re a little shit,” Ares snarled.

“Whatevs. I have a burger to eat. Go whack one off, imagining Halo. Just think, she’ll be living in that apartment with you. You can watch her shower all the time now and not use that creepy spy camera,” she said into the phone.

Iris shouted Carina’s name again.

“If you keep on, I’m not helping you move your shit in,” Ares told her.

“Fine. Bye.”

Then, the room went silent.

No one spoke. The words were on repeat in my head. Would there ever come a day that I didn’t have something punch me in the stomach?

“When—” My voice cracked. “When was that call?” Although I’d been able to tell. It was the day they left me. Ares wasn’t at boot camp. He’d not gone. It had been a lie, but why lie about that?

“The night they moved out,” Linc replied. “You didn’t get a note, did you?”

I shook my head, and my throat burned with bile. I didn’t want a note from Ares. What I’d heard … I didn’t want to think about that. It was disgusting. He was my brother.

I was afraid I was about to be sick.

“How did you get that?” I asked.

“We have a lot of connections, and those within our ranks can pull just about anything from anywhere. Did you know Ares wasn’t your brother?”

I looked up at him. “He is. What she said about—” I grimaced, swallowing the sour rise in my throat. “That’s not true.”

Linc sighed, then reached for a piece of paper.

I took it. “What is this?”

“DNA results from a test Ares had done to prove he wasn’t Nick Talley’s son. Seems he had known it for a while, but that was for you. To show to you. I believe it was probably one of the things he left you in the note that your sister didn’t leave for you.”

I handed it back to him and stood up. Holding out two hands, I shook my head. “Please stop. I’m going to be sick. I need air.”

Bane moved quickly, jerking open the door, and I hurried out into the hallway, realizing I had no idea where the nearest bathroom was.

“Here,” Bane told me as he grabbed my arm and led me into a bathroom.

I didn’t look back as I dropped to my knees and heaved.